Relentless

The past has a good way of coming back and biting in you in the butt. I have made my fair share of mistakes and bad choices. I did a lot of stupid things and things that I am embarrased of and ashamed of, but I also have done a lot of good. I tried to help others and be a blessing and a help to those in need. I used to say that, "I wish I could go back, and I would have never done that!" Or "why oh why did God allow me to do that stupid, stupid thing." One of the great things about God is that he is a gentleman and He will not force Himself on you. He will not make you have a relationship if you are not ready for one. It is all about free will and choices. He loves you and chooses you, but you have to choose and invite Him in. So therefore God had nothing to do with the things in my past that I terribly regret because they were all me and my choices I made.I know the whole time he was there and trying to tell me don't do that, don't chose that. I believe that when we make mistakes and we hurt that He hurts too! We are his children and no parent wants their child to be hurting. I know that it kills me when my children are hurting. I am so trying to be the "helicopter" mom. I just can't stand the thought of someone hurting any of my children's feelings. In reality I know that I can't control life or everything that happens to them. Getting hurt is apart of life, I just wish that they never go through some of the pain and heartache I have.I want to be the kind of mom that the kids are proud of and they can talk to about anything, without worrying about me freaking out or judging them. I want them to feel like there is nothing they can't tell me and I want them to trust me with thier heart. I am sure there are alot of things I will not approve of but being open and understanding and respectful of them and thier thoughts and feelings will make a big difference. I agree with parents when they say that thier children have go to show them respect. I definately demand respect from my children. But so many times the parents forget the other part of that and that is that children deserve respect as well. They deserve to be heard and they deserve a voice. I want my children to be brilliant and ask questions because that is how they learn. I hate it when parents say "just because I said so" I have said it before but only after I have tried to explain the why to them and they refuse to listen, but I say it like this,"because I am your mom, and I know what is best for you." Kids learn best when things are explained to them. I also really don't talk baby talk to them becuase I wanted them to fully grasp what I am saying. These are just some of life's lessons that I am still trying to figure out. It has challenged me to be different, to not make the same mistakes and to grow and learn from each of the decisions that I made that were wrong. Without mistakes we wouldn't realize God's mercy and his grace. God loves for us is inmeasurable and that kind of relentless love and pursuit of passion that he chases us with is the kind of love we wished we had for each other. Just some random thoughs...I love you all my brothers and sisters in Christ..May God bless you exceeding above abd beyond what you can think of and even imagine today...Peace