Day 5

It's Friday Baby!

Today was an emotional day! I got my feelings hurt today and for a couple minutes thought I was ready to give up, I was upset and just wanted to go eat. But after I vented to the camcorder I calmed down and came back to my senses. This is the first time ever that I didn't chase my emotions down with food! Thank God for the camera and to some wonderful people supporting and backing me. If not for Mel and Fawn and their faith and belief in me, I probably would havbe given up today. It does my soul good to know that there are people who genuinally, really care about me and care about what happens to me. It is thier encouragement that keeps me going. I refuse to give up on myself and I know that now people are counting on me and I can't let them down. So yeah Caden had his meet the teacher today and when the other parents started coming in there I just wanted to hide under one of those tables. There were some moms in their that were pretty and thin and I felt like I didn't even want to look at them and I didn't want to draw attention to myself. Then it dawned on me, maybe thats why my child is so shy, maybe its because if me. Maybe he watches the way I am around people and it has just mimiced my behavior! Oh no! So anyway I also have some decisions to make that are difficult and I just want to get me and my kids to a day when there is peace and love and stillness. I realize now that people in America are addicted to food like alcholics are addicted to alcohol, and druggie is addicted to drugs. It is a real struggle, it an epidemic and it's killing people. When I lay down at night I feel how hard my heart is pumping and working to do it job and it scares me. If you really knew me you would now that I have to do this, because I beleive it's about life and death and its all about quality of life. If I don't do this i would be cheating my children and cheating myself, and cheating all the people God has lined up for me to minister to and help. I also value the relationship I have developed with Fawn and never want to hurt her. So I made it through 5 days! Thank you Jesus! Anyway this is what was on my mind today. So what did I eat and what did I do:

Breakfast:¾ cup of oatmeal made with water (Quaker raw oats)
½ cup of berries
1 tbsp ground flax seeds 80
1 whole egg + 1 egg white

Calories = 360


Snack:Smoothie
1 cup fat free/no sugar greek yogurt (get this at whole foods) 120
1/2 cup frozen berries 40
8 almonds 56
½ cup fat free milk 45
Calories=260


Lunch:Turkey Wrap
Whole Wheat Tortilla- 120 calorie wrap or less
4oz turkey breast lunchmeat (low sodium if can) 120
2 teaspoons mustard 10
1/2 cup spinach 20
Tomato 15
1/4 of an avocado 55
Small apple 50
Calories=400

Snack:1 cup of fat free milk 90
1 piece whole wheat toast 100
½ tbsp peanut butter 50
Calories=240


Dinner:Ground Turkey or Ground Beef Scramble
4 oz lean ground turkey or lean ground beef 120
½ cup peppers sautéed in 1 teaspoon olive oil 70
¾ cup rice 150
1/6 avocado 40
1 small tomato 20
Calories=400

Snack:Larabar

Workout:AM-(35min) 5 min. warm up then 1 on and 1 off/ 1 min. steep incline walk followed by 1 min. recovery walk
PM- 30 min fast walk